In many Kenyan homes and communities, we are taught from a young age to be strong. When life becomes difficult, you may hear someone say, “Usilie, kuwa strong,” or “Wacha kufikiria sana.” Sometimes, we are encouraged to keep our problems to ourselves because talking about them may be seen as complaining or seeking attention.
But what happens when someone hurts inside and doesn’t know where to turn?
Mental health stigma is one of the reasons many people choose to suffer in silence. It refers to the negative attitude, stereotype, shame and judgement that surrounds mental health challenges. A young person may want to talk about feeling overwhelmed, lonely, anxious or hopeless, but fears being called out all sorts of names like “Mwendawazimu,” “weak” or “attention seeker.” Instead of now asking for help they decide to keep it to themselves eventually leading to some unavoidable circumstances.
The truth is, struggling with your mental health does not make you weak. Life can be difficult at some point and everyone can experience emotional and psychological challenges at different points in life.
BREAKING THE MYTH AROUND MENTAL HEALTH
There are many misconceptions around mental health in our communities. Some people believe that someone experiencing emotional difficulties must learn to pray harder, think positively or “just get over it.” Others believe that going to a counsellor or mental health professional means the person is seriously “mad.” Faith, family and friends can be important sources of comfort and support. However, they should not be used to shame someone or prevent them from seeking professional help when it is needed.
Another common misconception is that talking about suicide or emotional struggles encourages people to act on them. In reality, creating a safe space for someone to talk about what they are experiencing can make them feel heard and connected. When someone says , “I’m not okay,” we should not immediately dismiss them with “you know what , “you’ll be okay.” Sometimes they simply need someone to listen.
HOW STIGMA AFFECTS HELP-SEEKING
Imagine an active student in a class who has suddenly become quiet in class yet he was the most notorious in that class. He used to perform well in class but suddenly again the grades are dropping drastically, they no longer associate with their friends and they seem tired all the time. Instead of the teachers asking or the class teacher asking he/she starts calling him names, “you are lazy, disrespectful, arrogant” or think a scenario where a young man is going through a difficult time but feels that talking about his emotions will make him look weak. he may choose to bottle things up inside because he has been taught that “men don’t cry.” These experiences show how stigma can prevent people from seeking support. Someone may fear being laughed at, judged, isolated or treated differently. As a result, they may wait until their situation becomes much more difficult before reaching out.
RECOGNISING WHEN SOMEONE MAY NEED SUPPORT
Not everyone experiencing difficulty/ Struggling will openly say, “I need support/help,” sometimes their behavior speaks out first. You may notice that someone has become unusually withdrawn, constantly sad, easily tired, easily irritated or overwhelmed at all times. They may lose interest in activities they previously enjoyed, have changes in sleeping and eating patterns, struggle to concentrate or find it difficult to cope with school, work, relationships or everyday responsibilities.
These signs do not automatically mean that someone has a mental health condition. But they can be a reason for you to check in on them. A simple, “Niko hapa, uko sawa?” can open a door that someone was afraid to knock on.
CREATING SUPPORTIVE FAMILIES AND SCHOOLS
Creating a supportive environment starts with making people feel safe, heard and accepted.
Families can encourage open conversations about feeling, listening without judging and take a young person’s concerns seriously instead of dismissing them. A child or young person should feel that home is a place where they can talk about what they are experiencing without immediately being blamed or criticized.
School can also play an important role. They can provide safe spaces where learners can talk to trusted teachers or counselors, promote mental health awareness and ensure that students who seek help are treated with respect and confidentiality.
Most importantly, we can change the way we respond when someone opens up. Instead of saying , “Just be strong,” “You are overthinking,” or “Others have bigger problems,” we can say, “ I’m listening,” “Your feelings matter,” or “ How can I support you?” Sometimes that small change can make someone feel less alone.
School and families do not need to have all the answers. What matters is creating an environment where a person feels comfortable enough to speak and where they can be guided towards appropriate support when necessary.
Let us change the conversation.
Reducing mental health stigma does not require one big action. It can begin with small changes in the way we speak and listen.
It can begin the process with the parent choosing to listen instead of dismissing their child’s feelings. When a teacher checks on the learners instead of immediately calling them names. When a friend stays beside someone who is struggling instead of making jokes about their situation.
And it can begin with us
We need communities where “I’m not okay” is not a source of shame. Communities where asking for counseling is normal. Communities where people understand that seeking help is not a sign of weakness but an important step towards taking care of oneself. Mental health is part of our overall health. Just as we would encourage someone with a physical illness to seek medical attention, we should also encourage people experiencing emotional or psychological difficulties to seek appropriate support. Sometimes, a person does not need us to have all the answers. They simply need us to listen without judgement and remind them that they are not alone.
CONCLUSION
Mental health is part of our everyday lives and struggles. Sometimes it does not make anyone weak or less of a person. Behind a smile, a quiet person or someone who seems to have everything together, there may be a story we know nothing about. The way we respond can make a difference. Instead of judging someone who is struggling, we can listen, instead of telling them to “just be strong” we can ask how they are really doing. Sometimes, knowing that someone cares and is willing to listen can be the first step towards seeking help. We all have a role in reducing stigma around mental health. Let us create families, schools, workplaces and communities’ where people feel safe to speak about what they are going through without fear of being laughed at or judged. Let us choose understanding over judgement, listening over silence and support over stigma. If you are struggling, remember that asking for help is not a sign of weakness. If someone around you is struggling, be the person who listens.
